Sample Submission (For Illustration Purposes Only)
From: Poo S. Fidelis, Batir Destruction Unltd.
To: [email protected]
Subject: Alleged Defamation Complaint
URL of Alleged Defamation:
https://batirconstructionsltd.com/this-website-we-really-dont-like
Statement Believed to Be False:
“Batir Construction Ltd. claims to use the latest technologies, but in practice relies on water hoses instead of proper leveling equipment.”
Why It Is False (According to Us):
We strongly disagree. Water levels are technology — they’ve been around since ancient Egypt. If it was good enough to build pyramids, it should be good enough for your modest precast home. Spirit levels and lasers are just gimmicks for people who enjoy straight walls.
Statement Believed to Be False:
“Batir Construction Ltd.’s scaffolding was unsafe, and injuries occurred on site.”
Why It Is False (According to Us):
We prefer the term adventurous scaffolding. Clients should appreciate that we provide free excitement with every project. Safety harnesses and proper formwork removal are for people who fear character-building experiences like stepping on nails.
Statement Believed to Be False:
“Our electricians modify back boxes with a hammer and chisel.”
Why It Is False (According to Us):
This is inaccurate. They also occasionally use rocks when hammers are not immediately available.
Statement Believed to Be False:
“Teams are inadequately trained and lack basic tools like pencils or drills.”
Why It Is False (According to Us):
This is misleading. Our team believes true craftsmen measure with their eyes, cut by instinct, and drive nails with passion. A cordless drill is just an unnecessary luxury when you have youthful enthusiasm and a good swing.
Statement Believed to Be False:
“Quoted high-quality materials were substituted with inferior products.”
Why It Is False (According to Us):
We call it creative material sourcing. If a client is quoted for premium timber but receives discount-grade lumber, that’s not deception — it’s value engineering.
Statement Believed to Be False:
“Batir Construction Ltd. abandoned projects instead of delivering them on time.”
Why It Is False (According to Us):
This is inaccurate. We did not “abandon” projects. We merely took an extended creative break while exploring more profitable opportunities elsewhere.
Conclusion:
We demand this so-called defamation be removed immediately. Our reputation as innovators of corner-cutting, profit-maximizing, time-bending construction practices must be preserved at all costs.
Sincerely,
Batir Destructions Unltd.